Talk it Out

There are so many ways to combat certain types of feelings. And each different way can be warped to suit the individual experiencing the feeling. But what I've learned works best is something that everyone can benefit from.

Imagine this. You need to vent about something. Whether it's something that has hurt you, made you angry, sad, betrayed, or even just annoyed; you need to talk about it. You grab a friend, family member, or significant other and all you really want is for them to listen. But the bottom line of it is that good listeners are few and far between. It's human nature to have an answer, a solution, a suggestion, and an opinion. Even if they say nothing, the expressions...

Imagine this made you feel no better...because it never does, does it?

Talking to someone helps us get out of our heads. Putting feelings into words makes it easier to expel those feelings. But maybe instead of seeking someone to vent to, maybe try venting to yourself?

Talk, out-loud, to yourself about what you're feeling. 

I do this. And trust me it's not the same as having a conversation with yourself. It's putting your feelings out there and validating them. Telling yourself I feel this way and it's ok, or it's even ok that i'll feel this way again, feels good. 

Try this.

"I feel like _____. It's OK for me to feel like _____ because I won't feel that way forever."

Working through your thoughts out-loud makes it easier for those thoughts to not become daunting and harmful to your mental health. Repeat to yourself that you will be ok, it's ok to feel how you feel and the relief is almost instant. 

This technique came from my mother and it was something my therapist said I should keep doing. I overthink, so any technique that gets me out of my head is very helpful. I get to speak my thoughts and hear where my overthinking makes no sense. I can stop it before it starts. 

Admittedly it's still hard sometimes. I'm not always alone, and getting up from my desk to hide in the stairwell isn't very conducive to me keeping my job. I have to scream "I'm ok" and "It's ok" in my head when I'm alone and it's not as helpful as speaking. But when I really need to give myself a moment, I do. I get up, go to my stairwell and speak on my pain.

You are the most powerful voice you could ever need. No one else's voice can console you like your own can. 

Speak out-loud on your pain. Get it out of your head and heart. Let it go.

 

Chelsea ReddingComment