Going to War with My Ego
I learned something about pain and suffering recently that helped me continue my almost need to wage war with my Ego. I was told that pain is unavoidable. Pain is natural. Pain is our instant reaction to an event or tangible thing that eventually subsides with time. On the other side, suffering is what we put ourselves through as the result of pain. Ego is the culprit behind suffering. Making pain worse and forcing it down into the pit of our gut to make us feel worse.
Your ego is not your friend.
Your ego is the voice in your head that says your pain is your fault. It says you're not good enough, you messed up, and no one likes you.
Combating your ego is as simple as listening to your soul and audibly telling your ego to "shut the hell up" and "have a seat". Speaking on your pain, like I wrote about here, is one of the best ways to move past your suffering and train yourself to not believe the lies your ego tells you.
Here's the deal.
You cannot control your thoughts. The average person has 60,000 thoughts a day and about 95% of those thoughts repeat throughout the day. Of those repeating thoughts, for most people, 80% of them are negative. We worry about things that won't happen, criticize ourselves and others to varying degrees, and remind ourselves of things that may have gone wrong in the past.
Rather than looking to control your thoughts, look to being picky about which ones get the brunt of your attention. You control which thoughts matter.
Negative thoughts will happen no matter what. But how you handle them is what will shape your mental health.
- Meditate - Meditation gives you the chance to truly relax and listen to your soul. The voice of your soul, unfortunately, is quiet. So you really have to concentrate to hear it sometimes. But hearing things like "you' are worthy", "you are talented" or "you are special", is worth the effort put it. It will also allow you to be able to identify your soul speaking more often during the day.
- Speak on It - My favorite method as I sometimes lack the patience for meditation. Find a place where you are alone and talk out loud about how you're feeling. Tell yourself it's OK; reason with yourself. You know those words from your ego are untrue so remind yourself of that.
- Seek Help - Necessary but scary. You're not solidifying that you're crazy by seeking professional help. You're not crazy at all. Having someone who was trained to understand the human mind better than your average person remind you of that can make all the difference. They can help you identify what could be causing how you feel and how you can tackle it. Don't be affraid of a perscription either, if its best for you, so be it.
- Feed Your Soul - Do the things and spend time with the people who make you feel truly happy. Even if you're going through that phase where the things that make you happy just don't do it for you anymore; take it slow. Try. Reach out to friends and enjoy their company. Don't seek validation, from anyone, your soul will know the people best for you at this time.
"Souls love. That's what souls do. Ego's don't..."